this morning, i read an article about a woman who stuck in unhealthy relationship. just like Lady Gaga said “caught in a bad romance”. her husband is kinda abusive. he mentally abuse her by saying rude words very often. but, this is the ironic part, she doesn’t wanna leave her husband because she doesn’t wanna be alone. though she feel miserable day by day.
one of my close friend also has the same situation with that woman above. her relationship with her bf is disapproved by their parents. a classic reason —> different tribe. but they still going on together. my friend feel so tired because his bf seems like has no willingness to fight for their relationship. and she does realize that it is very unlikely to end their relationship into the aisle. this is just my opinion, but i can see that she’s not happy with her relationship. i may not know about the whole of their relationship, but i just feel pity for her. once, she told me and my friend that her bf asked her to elope. good Lord, eloping really is not a good idea. you know that marriage is not about marrying two people but it is about marrying two family. especially in Indonesia, family does matter. he can’t just run away and hiding from the problem, but at least have the guts to solve the problem. for God’s sake!
o my God, i’m starting a little bit emotional every time i talk about her relationship. and once i asked her, “why don’t you let him go? i mean just break up with him, you can’t see where your relationship would end. you might lose the guy who’s much better than him somewhere in this world, sometimes we have to let something go before we get the better one.” and she answered “i know, but i’m scared that i won’t find a better guy than him. i mean, i wanna find a guy who’s better than him before i decide to let him go. it’s just i always be with him and i don’t wanna be alone”. and fyi, my friend is freaking pretty. it’s just impossible if she can’t find another guy and end up being an old-maid.
i somehow wonder why on earth do those girls stick with the relationship that bring them into despair? i mean, what makes them choose to stay while they are bleeding inside for hearing those rude words or even the physical abuse? is it really love that make them stay? is it really love that make them let their partner do whatever he wants to do? is it really love that makes them let themselves being hurt by the people they love? think again. love isn’t supposed to make us feel sad. love isn’t supposed to make us feel like we’re such a garbage in the street. and love is not supposed to make us feel worthless.
i always believe that relationship is supposed to bring happiness for both parties. what’s the point of sticking with a person who doesn’t make us happy? every day we just feel despair, we cry all the time, we feel sadness and to make it worse, we get used to it. we get used to the misery caused of the unhealthy relationship and we become numb. we choose to stay because of many reason. it might because we don’t wanna be alone, we haven’t found the better one yet, or we enjoy the suffering. sometimes it sounds crazy, enjoying that kind of suffering. it’s because we let him to hurt us for too long.
the people we love should bring the best in us. the people we love should bring the happiness in our day. maybe it’s hard to let someone we love so much go, but somehow we have to love ourselves. somehow,we have to chase our own happiness. just don’t let anyone, especially someone we love, make us feel worthless and give us endless tears. every human being have the right to be happy. don’t make love as an excuse to let other people hurt us. don’t make love as an excuse to stay in misery. because love is a great feeling that should make us happy even cry a happy tears.
it is not the eyes that are blind, but it’s the heart (Holy Qur’an 22:46). sometimes we have to let something go before we get the perfect one for us. we might be alone afterwards, we might feel not the same, but if we love ourselves, we gotta fight for our own happiness. life is too short to be spent with the abusive person. life is too short to spend our time crying over ourselves. let’s love and be happy. 🙂
“Let go of what kills you and hold on to what keeps you breathing”