Defying Gravity

so, i finally came to the initial interview for Flight Attendant position. and what made me freaking out was the people who came. the girls were freaking pretty and the guys were good-looking. they successfully made me feel so small like what-am-i-doing-here-?-i’m-nothing-compare-to-them. so anw, when the first session started, i felt my heartbeat beat really fast. we were divided into three teams. it was like a discussion group session and each team had to make a presentation about the theme that was given.

unfortunately i was in the same team with a very annoying girl. we were supposed to talk and discuss in English, but she kept talking in Indonesian. the thing was i just don’t wanna fail just because of her. i mean, we were in the same team, i didn’t want the judges gave my team a low scores just because she didn’t follow the rules. so, i decided to not talk to her and kept silent every time she asked about the theme we discussed. she was really annoying. well, i never knew that i could be that ambitious, self-centre and mean until i found myself be in a competition in which i badly want to win the prize.

and then, the judges started to announce the result by giving us a yellow card. and what shocked me was the fact that i passed to the next session. i was really shocked because i was the only girl in the room who passed the test. aaaaaaaaa. i mean, i didn’t expect much because i knew that i didn’t deliver a good performance. my knees were shaking, i mean like, o my God, i just couldn’t believe it. i kept wondering what made me passed the test. and, there was a girl who looks really convincing by the way she talked, her English-spoken skills, but she didn’t passed. and me, in my presentation i didn’t even understand on what i just said. and i saw other people’s expression in the room when i delivered my presentation, they were like rising their eyebrow and giving the what-the-hell-is-she-talking-about-?-human-language-please look. well, things really happen when you least expect it.

so, the next session was to discuss and debate. we were divided into two teams and again we had to deliver our opinion each person, debate and confront other team and gave conclusion about the debate session. the judges remind us to keep calm and smile no matter how nervous we were. and since, we would work in a service company so, we shall not be too aggressive when we disagree to other people’s opinion.

in this session, i didn’t think of anything except to successfully passing the test. i was really nervous, i mean debate is really not my thing especially debate in English, o my God, can i just debate in Urdu Language please? i tried to keep calm to hide my nervous, but unluckily i forgot to smile. so, when the judges announced the result, i was rejected. i failed. eeergh, i was so sad and angry of myself. when you get rejected, you’re gonna wonder “what did i do wrong?” “why am i rejected?”, that question will always running in your head when you get rejected, rite? and then my friend told me that it’s normal to fail on the first time, but then my ego start to yell “but i want to be the one who did not fail on the first time i try!”.

so, it took me a night just to make my head clear and calm. now, i already accept the fact that i failed and see the bright side. i mean, failure would never be easy to face but even Thomas Alfa Edison had to fail for 24000 times until he succeed to create a lamp. so, i thought to fail on something is normal. at least i have had challenge myself to try to make one of my dream comes true. and that was a good experience though. i mean, i never know until i try, rite? so now i could see the moral of my story —-> that, it’s ok to set a goal beyond my limit, to keep trying on new things and having new experience, to accept failure, to keep calm and smile in every situation, and to never stop learning. oh and one thing, i finally discover the mean side of me. hahah. i remembered one of my friend told me that basically i am a self-centred person, so now i guess he was right. 🙂

anw, i sometimes imagine myself, an easily get panicked person, being a Flight Attendant that would be like mmmm mmmmm silly. let me give a hypothetical situation, if the plane was shaking because of the bad weather, i guess i would be freaking panic even get more panic than the passenger could be and couldn’t even think about other people’s safety. and when it comes to deal with a really annoying passenger, i could be lose my control and scream at him/her. so, i learned a lot from it. it’s totally not easy to be a Flight Attendant, well i guess there is no such thing as an easy to do job. every profession has its own difficulty and hard time.

so, this is the reason why i wrote Defying Gravity as the title of this post, it could be because Flight Attendant is literally defying gravity. but for me, to reach a dream sometimes we have to defy gravity. though we know that we have our limit but it’s not wrong to aim higher beyond our limit. it’s not wrong to try to fly. just like one of my friend said to me “don’t be so afraid to try, though you think you can’t make it, at least you have a story that could be shared to your kids one day”. don’t you know that the Glee Cast were singing a song titled “Defying Gravity” ? the lyric was so touchy, i was moved by the lyric and i hope you do too.

Something has changed within me, Something is not the same

I’m through with playing by the rules of someone else’s game

Too late for second-guessing Too late to go back to sleep

It’s time to trust my instincts close my eyes: and leap!

It’s time to try defying gravity

I think I’ll try defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye I am defying gravity

And you wont bring me down!

I’m through accepting limits cause someone says they’re so

Some things I cannot change but till I try, I’ll never know!

Too long I’ve been afraid of losing love I guess I’ve lost

Well, if that’s love it comes at much too high a cost!

PS : anw, i’m thinking about my next goal and that would be —> joining a reality show.

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