This morning, my friend asked me “do you think that the ‘Cinta tidak harus memiliki’ phrase is true or is it only a justification for the naïve people?” and I told her that the phrase is true for me.
Now let me explain why. I think that we as human being can not really own someone or something that we really love. I’m actually not a religious person but in my religion, I am taught that all the living creatures and all the things in life are belong to God, and what we have now is just for temporary because one day when God wants it back to Him, we gotta let it go. I know that letting go of every single thing, could be living thing or our precious stuffs or wealth or health or feelings or our position, is really not easy. I have been forced to let go some of my precious stuffs. When someone mugged me in the street and I lost my brand new cellphone and my favorite bag. It was really hard for me at first that made me think how could someone being so mean that he took away something that is not genuinely belong to them? But no matter how many days I found myself in misery because of it, those things were never come back to me. All I had to do was forgiving those people who mugged me, let it go and moved on.
And what about the feeling? What about the love? you may ask. Well, I have loved someone, so in love that made me crazy and blind. But unfortunately, he never loved me back. He just played around with this-girl’s-innocent-heart *huahahahhaha*. It took me a year to realize that no matter how hard I tried to chase him, no matter how crazy and big that feelings I had for him, no matter how many days I spent just to cry over that feeling, no matter how hard I tried to keep that feeling, it was just not meant to be. But if I wanted to be so selfish, in the name of love, I would do EVERYTHING just to make him mine. I would not give a damn about his real feeling and I would not give a shit about other people’s opinion. But even if it was so hard, I decided to let the feeling go. It actually would be a little weird if I said I let him go. Because I have never had him, he was never mine. I just couldn’t lose something that I never had. All I had was just the feeling of love. and I didn’t want to lose it, yes, but then I thought love is supposed to make me happy instead of makes me crying in pain silently. So, I decided to love myself more rather than damaging myself by keeping that feeling inside. Wise man said “It takes two to tango”. A relationship could works when two people want each other, but when a one-way love story happened, you fight, you try, but if he/she still doesn’t feel the same, just let it go and move on. If it’s meant to be, it will be. If it’s not, then it won’t.
In another case, when the guy I like announcing his coming-soon marriage. I was shocked. I was sad. But he is going to marry the person he loves and even the universe knows that the “NO-YOU-CAN’T-MARRY-HER-BECAUSE-I-AM-THE-ONE-WHO-LOVE-YOU-THIS-MUCH-AND-BETTER-THAN-THAT-BITCH” scene only happen in Hollywood movie or Korean Drama, so I did nothing though I feel like questioning why-not-me-? and did cry plenty tears after that. If I want, in the name of this feeling so-called love, I could be that desperate girl who confess her love and beg him to cancel his coming-soon marriage and convince him or even ‘pelet’ him just to make him love me. but what’s the use of being so selfish? If he is happy with his choice, if it’s make him happy, why don’t I let him go?
——————————————-Until death do us apart—————————————-
Imagine about a married couple who lost his/her spouse. Imagine about a parent who lost their child. Imagine about a son/a daughter who lost his/her mother/father. Are the left one supposed to dig their loved one’s grave because the left one doesn’t want to let them go and think that they belong to them? Are the left one supposed to blame God because He takes away their loved one?
I actually have never been in the situation when death got me and my loved one apart. And sorry if I am being too ‘sok tahu’ here because I actually doubt myself if I could bear with the death of loved one that easily. But as far as I know, and as what I believe, all the living creature and all the things in this world and universe are belong to God. It is not ours. So, when death do us apart, even if we love them so much it hurts, we gotta let it go. For they go to a better place. And go to the real owner.
——————————————to love is not to own——————————————-
Maybe, sometimes love is about letting something go. If it makes them happier, if it’s good for them, just let them go. Sometimes love is about seeing your love one happy. Sometimes love is about seeing your love one be a better person. Sometimes love is about being not selfish. Sometimes love is about seeing yourself happy too.