Oh my god.. please remind me again, how long have i been abandoning this blog? *one months, two months, one decade..give up on counting*
Anyway, i’m actually writing this while i’m in public transportation on my way going home from work. Since tomorrow is my birthday, i forced myself to at least make a one or two wise words for myself, in case the future me will open this blog again while cooking fried rice and carrying my fifth child.
Anywaay.. so, usually when i was young, i’m still young though by soul, i used to get so excited when it comes to my birthday. I’d be busy counting months, counting days, and hours until my birthday come. And hoping that something special would happen on my special day.
I used to think that 27 January is a sacred day for me. A special day. A hopefully-happy day. Well, It is actually a special day for Indonesian since our dear former president, Mr.Soeharto, died on that date.
But, this year i’m not really excited about my birthday. Maybe because i realized that i’m getting older by age, you know i’m not 25 anymore, but there are a lot of things i haven,t achieved and i just don’t wanna leave this twenty phase, a range of age where people considered as young age. Where i can do some crazy stuffs, adventurous staffs, suka-suka gw stuffs, and i still got an excuse to do those by saying that i just wanna enjoy my youth or even use my young age as an excuse.
I know that there are still a lot of things i wanna do, but that doesn’t mean i’m not satisfied with what i’ve done in my life until now. To be honest My 26, is like the best age of my life. I can do whatever i wanna do. And maybe i still want to be able to do whatever i want to do. Maybe i’m just not ready to be less selfish. But how? As far as i know i’m the most selfish person in the world. It’s gotta be about me and me and me and me.
Can someone tell me how to be forever young? You see, I started to routinly taking care of my skin with those korean skin care products and religiously watching those skin care tutorial on YouTube so any kind of wrinkle will stay away from me. And i still want to fangirl over those korean boyband. how am i gonna supposed to remove my love for the only one my dear baby Kim Min Seok? I still want to wear those hi-sneakers and loose top and going to the mall. I still want to make myself fluent in Korean. I still want to travell far far away. I still want to continue my degree. And i still have no idea about what i want to be. What if i want to be..a doll? Wait, i dont wanna be a doll. What if i want to be..a dancer? Well that’s impposible i cant even make a body wave.
Aaaaah so many things i want and so many fears i have in mind.
Well, that’s me contemplating about my life. Things i always do under the shower beside re-evaluating my life choices or when i lay in bed before sleep when the next day is Monday (while counting countless sheeps), or when i stare blankly outside Mikrolet 44’s window and thinking how can i get stuck in this endless traffic jam?
Maybe in paralel universe i’d be Counting hours to 27 January with Kim Min Seok 오빠 beside me. Amin. Well let me be whatever i want to be on my parallel universe.
Anyway here’s my wish list for my birthday.. (in case Santa Claus accidentaly read this and i do wish Santa Claus read this)
of course the first one will be..
thirdly, my favourite thing..this could be the death of me, beside Kim Min Seok.
picture from http://www.stradivarius.com/id
Lastly, i think i’m gonna be my own Santa Claus for this.
That’s it. my wish list for my birthday gift. hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day as i become a better me. see you on the next post.